“Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young…”
Says Albus Dumbledore.
As I watch the younglings fight and organize yet another edition of The Project I Grew Up with, this quote certainly springs to mind. I think I understand now, or perhaps get an inkling, of what is a mid-life crisis –> When everything seems meaningless and all effort is mired in a lack of fruitfulness.
Another memory is triggered, and it is one at Golden Shoe Hawker Centre, with one of the faithful readers of my blog. I remember saying “After some time, you begin to wonder if everything is worth it. You reach a point when you know the motivations just are not the same anymore”.
And now these words come back to haunt me. Who is the one with different motivations? Is others, or is it really me?
It’s just like Liverpool, stuck in the rut, unable to put a ball in the back of the net.
So like my beloved club, I think its time for me to step out of my malaise. This laziness, the idea that “I’ve been there and done that” has been festering in me for some time already. Perhaps, I have been too arrogant in my attitude and I am truly quite sorry for that. That is the old man mentality. Experience is one thing, but arrogance is another.
Back to the The Project: As we debrief, the fresh younglings do not understand the battle of ideas going across the table. I glance at one young couple, both glued to their phones and itching smiles. I suspect they are flirting over SMS, oblivious to the world. Sweet young love indeed. The older ones push their ideas across and share their stories. I watch carefully, and plunge into the foray when I can. And then I remember; not too long ago were we the young ones glued to our phones instead. The Elders have left (a messy situation indeed) and now we are the in the lead. The weight of age hangs on heavily on our shoulders. Are we worthy of our positions? Am I even worthy of it? Based on The Project alone, I think I have done a horrible job. I’d give myself an D for effort.
In retrospect, my two week adventure in Berastagi was the impetus needed for this epiphany of sorts. The Year of Dragon is arriving, and I hope I am lucky enough to change myself. “You need to have a mind of a 5 year old – question everything.” It’s high time to espouse those values indeed.